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From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch.
Always have faith and believe in yourself…well because..the rest of us think you’re an idiot!
I don`t really care who wins the elections as long as everyone had fun out there.
Remember, Christmas is over if you sit on a strangers lap now and ask for stuff it`s because you`re a whore.
I cannot be held responsible for what my face does when other people talk.
Blacking out when you’re drunk is god’s way of telling you that it’s none of your business what you do when you’re drunk.
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
For lent I`m giving up sex, wait I`m not Catholic. Whoa, that was close
I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if I’d like whipped cream on it.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
I love food, napping on the couch, and getting super excited about car rides, I`m basically a golden retriever.
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them