Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Meanwhile, Somewhere farther down on your timeline, your aunt just posted the "Footprints" poem on your wall again.
Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
Feeling tired as you struggle to get through the day? There`s a nap for that.
Often I convince myself I enjoy the company of other humans. Then I spend time with them and remember I don`t.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from.
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
I don`t throw anything out anymore I just go to TGI Friday`s once a month and glue more sh!t to the wall, no one notices, try it
The filling in this fortune cookie tastes like paper...
Digging through a box in the closet and I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost 2 years ago.
Apparently it`s ok to leash your dog to a bike rack, but it`s illegal to leash your kid to one. Parenting is hard...
I saw a man at the beach screaming, "Help, shark, help!" I laughed because I knew the shark wasn`t going to help him.
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.
Yeah... I may be old... But I`m still hot..... They just come in flashes now!
Hey officer, why did you stop me? Just an hour ago, you said that you never wanted to see me again.