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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
People who are about to tell you something then say "never mind" are the reason why I sometimes admire serial killers
Stovetop Directions: 1.) Use microwave.
Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces
Can`t wait `til I`m old enough to pretend I can`t hear.
A gun is like a coupon that works anywhere.
May be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I`m considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
If the wicked witch of the west melts in water ... How did she bathe?
Of all the lies I`ve told in my life, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
Sometimes I like to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and think what it would be like to stare at other ceilings.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
I love how television has redefined the word `marathon` to the exact opposite of physical exercise
Good thing I`m judged on my actions and not my thoughts.