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Since you were smiling when you tazed me, I`m guessing we still have a chance.
You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
Make your day more fun by going up to a stranger and asking "Hey, how have you been since the amnesia?"
In an alternate universe somewhere, all the ducks are making white girl faces.
I just saw a bus that you would look amazing under.
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
I never wanted to grow up, I just wanted to be tall enough to reach the cookies.
is confused. Oh wait, maybe not.
"My name will live forever!" - Anonymous.
Sometimes I meet people and feel sorry for their dog.
My internet was down for almost 4 mins,im ok but the 911 operator was a total b**ch about it!
Good mothers let you lick the beaters when they`re making a cake. Great mothers turn the mixer off first.
`Google`` must be a woman, because it knows everything.