Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I miss the life I planned in my head.
I`m one more bottle of wine away from starting a blog.
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
A "long story" is just a short story that no one wants to tell.
If you guys could read my mind! It would be all like; " "
Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Everytime your child acts up, throw one in the fireplace.
I don`t really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids` history textbooks.
lifes like a box of chocolates, never know whatcha gonna get (:
I’m an organ donor, but I’m pretty sure all they’re going to use is my liver for “after” photos.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
It’s too bad that it’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
The problem in general terms is that people suck.
Divorce is what happens when two people win an argument.
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.
You know you`re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on