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Do you really know me or am I just an idea that you`ve built in your head?
You never really know someone until you break up with them. If they don’t go crazy and try to kill you than maybe you should give them a second chance.
For all those girls that say `all guys are the same` ... Who told you to try them all? Hoe.
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
If a girl can kick your a$$ at video games, she’s a keeper.
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
I want to start a womans magazine called "Period". ..then every few months I`ll send it out late JUST to freak them out. ;)
I will never understand why my fridge has a drawing of a carrot on the beer drawer.
All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.
My brother didnt take kindly to jail. He refused food & drink, and smeared feces on the walls. That`s the last time we`re playing Monopoly.
Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music off the internet.
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.