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Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"
I`m "oh my god, gag me with a spoon" years old.
Personally, I believe that around 93% of the world`s population should run with scissors.
Computer froze? Just press all the keys.
Waiter: Would u like ur coffee black sir? Me: What other colors do u have?
My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.
My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
Do not drink and drive.. because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault !!
I hate when I`m wearing my apple bottoms jeans and I can`t find boots with the fur.
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
You never know what you have until..... you clean your room
All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society`s way of preparing you for your driver`s license photo.
The problem with you is ... you exist.
I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.