Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That awkward moment when You accidentally hit the LIKE button During Facebook stalking.
Diet goal: I want to lose just enough so that my hand will fit comfortably in a Pringles can...
Wine is just grapes for procrastinators.
Pizza: nah, Sex: eh, Drinking: no thanks, It`s so hard thinking of what to give up for Lent...
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
I just found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock,,,, people expect less of you.
If my father taught me one thing, it was probably how to take both hands off the wheel to sarcastically applaud people in traffic.
Very few things upset my wife. So, it makes me feel rather special to be one of them.
Just completed a 0.00 mile run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies
Why are Doctors so afraid of apples?
How does one get suspended with full pay and benefits? Asking for a friend who is actually me.
I wonder when people without cars pick their noses…
I will never miss you, because I`m a really good shooter.
You chicks spend a lot of money on makeup to look pretty. Save your cash, buy him Alcohol.
I accidentally opened the fitness app on my phone for the first time ever. It just began pointing at me & laughing.