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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m like the stink in your feet.....I will always be with you.
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
Just woke up next to my bed. Not sure if I fell out or didn`t quite make it in.
"This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall." - Every 2 year old with a Popsicle.
If someone hates you for no apparent reason, give them one.
MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
I didn`t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
"Polar bears can`t jump." - Black bears
Stupidity should be painful...really!!!
You don`t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
I have this empty feeling inside of me. Wait, there`s my drink.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
My reaction to stepping in dog sh!t is identical to me logging onto Facebook