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Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
I`m in the awkward time period between not wanting to have pants on, and having to wait for the pizza guy right now...
Tonight`s good mood is sponsored by ... Beer!!
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
Secret Admirers are just stalkers with good PR.
I try not to laugh at my own jokes… but we all know I’m Hilarious.
Three guys walk into a bar. Two ended up with a concussion, the other needed 4 stitches.
Sorry, everyone, it looks like my Facebook account was hacked by tequila last night...
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ... it`s cuz you have really nice tits.
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
I`m not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy.
I have a confession to make... "I want to get back with my ex"...LOL Just Kidding..."I`d rather shit in my hands and clap !"
I`ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I`m actually talking to someone.