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For Halloween I`m going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.
Yeah but why do they call him Bigfoot if both of his feet are the exact same size
Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs? LOL
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a super-villain.
Laughter is the best medicine (that my insurance is willing to cover)
Saying that your company has been in business since the 1800`s isn`t a selling point. Slavery existed then too...
No one can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it ;)
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
I need medical attention, but I will settle for just regular attention.
There`s always cake to celebrate happy moments, but I really think cake would do better during the bad times. Got fired? Have a cake.
I need my coffee before I start pretending to work.
I need to do laundry so bad I`m actually wearing Christmas stockings
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
The one thing you can always count on is your fingers.
I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.