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There are no winners the day following a green beer, corned beef, and cabbage binge.
Warning: this life contains strong language, adult situations and nudity.
Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science. Sneaking into your neighbor`s yard to cut it down is an art.
It may look like I’m having really deep thoughts but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
Whenever I see a hot girl on the streets I`m like HOLY CRAP I`M OUTSIDE.
When I was a kid and was going to "get it" that was bad. Now I`m an adult and I`m going to "get it" :)
I used to date this girl that worked at Hasbro, but I finally got sick of all her games.
The true definition of safe sex is having a padded headboard.
Smile. Your enemies hate it.
I was bitten by a mosquito last night. Bet that little bastard is pretty hung-over today
"That looks interesting. I think I`ll eat it." - Sharks and Toddlers
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
I`m perfect you adjust.
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.