Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My neighbors got so weird when I asked how many bodies they thought were buried in their yard. I meant roughly, not like an exact number.
My wife is going to the hair salon today so for the next few hours I will be practising my reaction.
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
If kids get money for losing teeth, what do I get for all this hair Iām losing?
How do you know if your girlfriend is getting fat?...She fits into your wife`s clothes.
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
Monopoly: Destroying friendships since 1904
If only I did everything with the same precision in which I craft my sandwiches.
What do women say when they are actually fine?
Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one.
In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY ... My best time so far is 7 min.
I wish that just once, the clerk would just put the Monopoly money in the drawer and hand me a receipt
My box of Animal Crackers said, "WARNING: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken." I open the box, and sure enough...
No one will ever look at you the way I do ... But thats probably because no one will ever do it from the tree outside your window