Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
I’d like to think I’ve taught Citibank a valuable lesson about handing out credit cards all willy-nilly.
If I pay $30 for a haunted house I better die.
Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank.
I gave my dog a middle name today, so he knows when he`s really in trouble.
I just want one spam email that`s like, "Congratulations! You have a perfect-sized p*nis."
When choosing a name for your daughter, imagine her being announced in a strip club. If she doesn`t need a stage name, pick something else.
I`m just chilling tonight with my new plane ... Oops, I`ve said too much.
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I`m living in their attic...
Make Monday More Fun: Unplug the copier at work and put a sign on it that says “Now Voice Activated!” Sit back and watch the magic unfold..
The guy who used to proofread Hitler`s speeches was the first grammar Nazi.
I feel so lazy.. Lazy as the guy who created the Japanese flag
Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.
When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger and write WASH ME on her face…