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What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
I talked to my mom, and she said she probably hadn`t had sex with any of you guys. Damn dirty liars.
I propose a toast to the booze for making life seem tolerable.
Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
Half of my day is just me screaming profanities at an electronic device.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
Life is just better when you’re laughing.
Sarcasm is wasted on the idiots who inspire it.
I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
Ladies: If he’s right handed, and you find the mouse to the left of the computer monitor, there is only one explanation. Sorry Guys.
Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you`ve done with the place.
I think abs are for guys that don`t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.