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We should do this “3-day weekend” thing more often.
That`s like asking the fat guy to watch the pie.
Live today like it`s your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn`t.
Are you tired of every day being the same? Congratulations, you’re an adult!
can´t seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.
In a parallel alternate universe, my cat and my dog have jobs and I chill at home.
Roughly 82% of my day is trying to decide what my next meal will be
I did not trip...the floor looked like it needed a hug.
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
It`s so cold, I just got a $5 foot long from subway, but by the time I got back to my car it was only 6 inches.
L`oréal`s mascara makes your lashes 60% longer? Wow! They should make condoms.
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push ... into traffic.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......