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You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
The Home Alone house is up for sale for 2.4 mil. I’d pay 2.5 (if I had it) just so I could say, “Keep the change you filthy animal.”
As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I`m grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.
If I was Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, "That`s one small step for man," would have been, "Screw you every girl who ever shot me down!"
I hate it when chicks wear pink camo. I`m like, "girl" where you hiding? Candyland?
Just as I predicted, today was in fact a new day!
Somehow, hitting the "end call" button on the cell phone just doesn`t feel nearly as good as the old days when you could slam the phone down on somebody.
Respect your parents, they pay for your internet.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
During a test..people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information
If I`m not in bed by 11PM, then I go home.
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
New philosophy on life: Do unto others, then run like hell.