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It`s all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
Neighbor just yelled at me for playing in his sprinkler. Note to self, I should wear clothes next time.
You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they`re trying on clothes in the fitting room.
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
One time I snuck a whole rotisserie chicken into a movie, cause candy is for amateurs.
We`re all here because we`re not all there...
My favorite iOS7 feature is how it distracts me from the fact that I`m wasting my life poking a glass screen.
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don`t have iPhone. 2) I don`t have a girlfriend.
I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm
Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won`t send my dog to obedience school
No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a break and enter.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
Are you bored? Go to someone`s Facebook wall, Scroll down 4 months and like something.