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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
We´re responsible for most of what happens to us, the rest is probably Voodoo.
I have a hidden talent......I really wish I could find it!
I wish I had a friend like me
Doctor told me I need glasses. So I`m having several tonite.
I wish I would of asked if she believed in sex after marriage
I don`t care how much you like the soap. Never leave a public restroom smelling your fingers.
I`m easily influenced... That`s why I try not to watch too much porn
The best part of waking up is.....wait, I didn`t think this through entirely.
I grew up in a town where the population never changed… Every time a girl got pregnant, a guy left town
If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they actually are not looking for your opinions ... I know that now.
lifes a laugh, start living it!
I thought eyelashes were meant to keep stuff out of your eye but half the time there is anything in my eye its an eyelash!
Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
My boss yelled at me today “It’s the fifth time you’ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!” I said, “Probably that it’s Friday?"...