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I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
Pretty proud of myself, I got a lot of procrastinating done today
I told my family that I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle…So, they got up, unplugged my computer, and threw out my wine.
Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen.
The Bible is Christianity’s Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
If pigs could fly, nobody would be eating chicken wings.
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
I gave my wife my email address but she keeps on speaking directly to me.
Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine. And you know what else? Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine.
They always say "love makes the world go around"... They spelled beer wrong.
Celebrate Valentines Day responsibly, or you`ll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward
The only reason any of us can spell laboratory is because of Dexter.
After reading some marriage post, I`m beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.