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From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch.
Hi, welcome to adulthood! You`ll be constantly tired except for right before you need to go to sleep.
I hate hanging out with MC Hammer, he never let`s me touch anything.
I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
Honk if you are reading this.
With the promise of Free Drinks or Food, I’m willing to go pretty much anywhere.
I tried to make both ends meet, but I`m a poor judge of distance.
If it wasn’t for caffeine I wouldn’t be a functioning member of society.
Of all the lies I tell, "I was just kidding!" is my favorite.
Ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use leaves. Just kidding, but my son learned a big lesson about leaving his clothes on the bathroom floor.
Let`s all have a moment of silence for people who can`t have a moment of silence because they have kids.
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a shot of Vodka while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care.
Whew, good thing there`s a facebook petition for ending the shutdown, or else we`d be in real trouble.
Weekends will from now on begin on Wednesday because that is when it should truly begin!