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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
You say `pervert with a telescope` ... I say `biological astronomer`.
You know the fun part of your life is over when people around you are getting pregnant on purpose.
I don`t hate you, I`m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
The ceiling fan DOES NOT make a good lettuce shredder....
I don`t hate you, but if you we`re drowning, I would dive in and handcuff a piano to your neck.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m coming to your house with a facking baseball bat.
That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening
If you can`t fix it with duct tape or beer ... it ain`t worth fixin`
Imagine being naked in a room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you. That is the life of a dog.
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
If you get excited that jumping on the bed won`t spill the wineglass on the other side, you`re probably an alcoholic.
My blood test came back as B+ Any tips how I can get an A+ next time?
Being gay is fine. Being lesbian is fine. Being straight is fine. But do you know what’s not fine? Wearing crocs. That is NOT okay