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If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself: "I`m going to get thrown out of this home depot in a minute."
Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on?
Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 40 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 3. Now close your eyes.... It`s dark isn`t it.
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
Say goodbye to your girlfriends cause I just bought a book on magic tricks
A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
After a night of heavily drinkin` there`s one thing I can`t stand...and that`s up.
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 thumbs up we`ll try anal. So please don`t vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
Personally, I think failure should be an option
If I laugh randomly when you are talking to me, don`t worry, the voices are telling me jokes.
Iām still kind of pissed they never told us how to get to Sesame Street.
New diet plan: murder all the skinny people.