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I`m an outdoorsy kind of guy, I like to drink beer outdoors
If I had a nickel for everytime I told myself I`d quit smoking, I could buy a lot more cigarettes
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
My brain is giving me the silent treatment
I bought a used UPS truck. It gets bad gas mileage but I can park anywhere.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I`ve gotta go find my clothes.
Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder.
Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children. Nowadays, the average child has four parents.
If monogamy is sex with only one person, what is origami?
The Fourth of July was an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.?
I`m the opposite of psychic. I don`t even know what I`m thinking! ;)
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.
Just another day of not being rich and famous.