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Ladys, if you`re in an argument with a guy and there`s no may to win. Start playing with your boobs...works every time.
Golf, except there`s no balls or clubs or anything, and you just drive around in a cart and drink.
I don`t have ADD. It`s just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done.
Don`t hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook.
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
Tonight`s weather forecast: dark. Continued dark overnight with widely scattered of light by morning.
Settle down homemade play dough parents.
The color 9 is my favorite letter.
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
I just assume I do everything wrong since I don`t have a wife to confirm it.
I bought 2 fish and named one, “one” and the other “two”, so when “one” dies I will still have “two”.
Taco Tuesday sends a terrible message to our nation`s children. They need to know that tacos are always an option no matter what day it is.
Doctor told me to lose some weight, and suggested walking.So no more drive through taco bell. Now I park 5 spaces away and walk in
I`m honest, so when I say I took a "cat nap" that means that I slept for 18 hours and then pissed on your favorite shirt after I woke up.