Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes, I use big words I don`t always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
If anyone tells you that you drink to much on the weekends. Stop talking to them...you don`t need that kind of negativity in your life
If someone says you used too much butter or cheese on something, stop talking to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity
The fox says you need to stop.
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
Very few things upset my wife. So, it makes me feel rather special to be one of them.
Manager: So, do you have any questions about the job? Me: Yeah, can I have it?
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.
I like calling the Psychic Hotline and asking them what I`m wearing.
Maybe I`m not stalking you, maybe I just like your schedule
Sometimes I wish people would just bring donuts to work instead of drama.
I hate fake people...especially the ones at the mall advertising clothes in front of the stores
I can`t figure out why everyone calls me a smart-ass. Is it because I`m smart and have a great ass?