Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t know what everyone`s complaining about. The economy looks great from my parents` basement.
Someone should use screen recording software to record an entire day’s worth of working on spreadsheets and post it to YouTube so that I can play it full screen and pretend like I’m working.
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
I like my women how I like my straws …. Bendy and full of liquor.
Is it bad that "WINE" is always on my grocery list? At the top? In all caps?
Her (from the living room): What time is it out there? Me (in the kitchen): Same time as it is in there.
If two cannibals fight, does that make it a food fight?
Found out the name of my neighbor`s cat. In other news, I now have free internet.
If cleanliness is next to godliness, then my car is Satan`s chariot.
Like if you really googled to see if that kid really died from masturbating
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
Karma may "work" but I think that bitch takes a lot of days off
Of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with... How did 2 sticks win out!?