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Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?
Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
It`s been few days since I heard from the voices in my head, I think it`s the calm before the storm. Some big sh!t is gonna go down!!
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
I thought 70 was the new 50, but the cop still gave me a ticket.
if I was a bird, I know who I´d poop on first.
Give a fish something for once for f*cks sake
Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?
I look so young for my rage.
“I don’t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others’ lives sounds fun!” – How I got out of jury duty
There’s gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to “Baby Got Back.”
"I understand your logic, but let`s try to look at this more emotionally." - women
I`m going to hire two private detectives to follow each other .
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.