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A good example of mixed emotions would be finding a hundred dollar bill nailed to your tire.
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
Hey all you parents who recently named your kid Jax, We get it you`re unoriginal and watch SOA ... Hold on my daughter Grey`s Anatomy is crying.
It`s the little things in life that matter the most... for instance the refrigerator light, helping you to see that last beer way in the back!
Having a bit of a lazy day! I`m sitting in my underwear looking for better jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
Liquid sanity: I call it alcohol..!!
Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that`s not your Ferrari?
Thumbnail pics. Helping ugly people look hot until you click on them since 1995.
Everyone`s self worth should only be measured by how useful they would be in the zombie apocalypse.
Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says "one second," wait more than one second before entering.
I`d love to have kids one day. Two days, tops.
You chicks spend a lot of money on makeup to look pretty. Save your cash, buy him Alcohol.
It`s always best to fart when there`s a baby on the bus. They always get the blame.