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"Lets all put our phones down and talk with each other.." - Someone who has run out of phone battery.
Can we just stop with the pre-sliced cheese? Is anyone so busy that they don’t have time to cut the cheese?
Searching Netflix is almost more of an activity than watching a movie on Netflix.
Anyone that says I`m a lover not a fighter has clearly never been in a relationship over 6 months
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re being watched? Because if it’s bothering you, I’ll stop.
I just saw a man salute the Budweiser truck on the highway. LMAO
Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
I like long walks on the beach and drives through Taco Bells drive-thru.
I want to put a bib on a baby that says "This dumbass put my cape on backwards." lol
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
You don`t get smarter as you get older. There just aren`t any stupid things left that you haven`t already done.
I am sorry I wasn`t being completely honest when I said I was normal.