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I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I wonder what "don`t touch" is in Braille.
This time change has me all messed up. Driving with my hands at 11 and 3 is hard
You’re going to make some cats very happy one day.
Screw you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
The whole purpose of vacationing is to make you appreciate knowing where the channels are at home.
The only way I want to see your ultrasound picture is if you`re having a velociraptor.
Has anybody tried unplugging Congress and then plugging it back in?
It’s funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
Dear future boyfriend/girlfriend, where the hell are you?
For all we know, half the birds are telling the other birds to shut up.
I run a non-profit company. It`s not for a good cause or anything, I`m just not very good at business.
Pee your name in the snow and you`ll quickly understand why they should teach cursive in our schools.
The world would be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes...