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I wasn`t even going for broke. But I got it!
I just got gas for $1.79... Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
Boss: Are you high? Me: You and I both know that I don`t make enough money to have a drug habit.
I hate people that don’t know the difference between β€œyour” and β€œyou’re”. Their so stupid…….
Do whatever you want. And if it’s something you’re going to regret in the morning…sleep late.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
I don`t plan anything as well as I plan which alcoholic beverage I`m going to consume once I leave work.
There is literally no way of knowing how many chameleons are in your house.
I was looking all over for my ambition today......well, It wasn`t under this 12 pack, so I`ll look tomorrow.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
okay it was me..... I did it ..... I let the dogs out
Always envied the kids who showed up to school with their 64 count Crayola crayons. If I wanted Burgundy or Salmon I had to ask in shame.
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it`s all screaming and sh!t.
I don`t like morning people ... Or mornings ... Or people.