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I wasn`t even going for broke. But I got it!
I just got gas for $1.79... Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
Boss: Are you high? Me: You and I both know that I don`t make enough money to have a drug habit.
I hate people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Their so stupid…….
Do whatever you want. And if it’s something you’re going to regret in the morning…sleep late.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
I don`t plan anything as well as I plan which alcoholic beverage I`m going to consume once I leave work.
There is literally no way of knowing how many chameleons are in your house.
I was looking all over for my ambition today......well, It wasn`t under this 12 pack, so I`ll look tomorrow.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
okay it was me..... I did it ..... I let the dogs out
Always envied the kids who showed up to school with their 64 count Crayola crayons. If I wanted Burgundy or Salmon I had to ask in shame.
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it`s all screaming and sh!t.
I don`t like morning people ... Or mornings ... Or people.