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Welcome to Alzheimer`s Club. I see a lot of new faces today.
I just attempted to wash a paper plate if you wonder how much money I have available.
Hi, it’s me. I can’t get to the phone right now, even though it’s right here in my hand.
If a woman shaves her legs for you, at least every other day, in the Winter time, it`s Love.
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
Am I the only one who thinks water has that taste that no one can describe?
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
Whenever someone says to me “Things could be worse” I punch them in the face and say “Like that?”
How much Hershey`s Chocolate Syrup can I add before it`s really not a SlimFast shake anymore?
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
Check this one out.........1
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes
Intelligence is like underwear. It`s important that you have it but there`s no need to show it off.
A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they’re naughty.