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Just because it`s a bad idea, doesn`t mean it`s not going to be a good time.
I told the monster in my closet that coming out of of there would make him gay, haha problem solved ....
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek
I thought I was having déjà vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
This status is mine....I licked it.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain realizes what I`m doing.
I just found a piece of pizza in my trash can. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!!
my entire life is a "had to be there" moment
It`s always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, "I love you" and they`re like, "thank you for choosing Domino`s."
I feel like people who don`t have at least one bottle of expired salad dressing in the fridge, really have their lives together.
I just lost my mood ring, I don`t know how I feel about that.
I am sorry I wasn`t being completely honest when I said I was normal.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them so damn often.
I hope daylight savings time hasn`t thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing.