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SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who’s ever used a cell phone will die
I don`t care how the future pans out, any amazon delivery from now on is referred to as a drone strike.
If I could go back in time I would put cheese on a lot more things.
"I got this." Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
Don`t believe everything you think.
What if 11:11 actually works but there`s one person in this world that`s wishing for everyone`s wishes to not come true?
I stay up late every night and realize it was a bad idea every morning.
Do the other settings on the washer actually do anything?
The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.
Chicken pot pie sounds like a great idea if you add commas.
I WON THE LOTTERY, SCREW YOU ALL! ... Sorry, just practicing
On the bright side, it’s Friday Eve Eve Eve.
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
Never ask a Leper to "give you a hand", seriously, don`t........................
I just wanna be the reason your doctor puts you on a new medication.