Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
When the cashier asks "How`s your day going?" I reply "I`m buying 3 bottles of wine, it`s clearly only getting better."
Just seen the new Batman shampoo in Costco. I can`t believe they haven`t paired it up with a conditioner Gordon.
You Are The Reason My Middle Finger Was Created.
Who the hell is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you.
Scientists have recently discovered that approximately 2% of Earth`s water at any given time is found on Tupperware containers being removed from the dishwasher
Everyone has a purpose in life ... Perhaps mine is finding things to bitch about.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks face first into a closed sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
I`ve never watched a clown apply makeup but I imagine the process is similar to that of a Kardashian.
I really hate it when I have to watch the same channel for 2 days because the remote fell behind the couch.
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
Just another day of not being rich and famous.
I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.
OK so i have an idea ............... wait why are you all running away?