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Most of being an adult is marveling at the date and saying how fast the year is going by.
Easy baked macaroni and cheese recipe: Boil macaroni in water.... follow the rest of the instructions on box. TADA!
Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"
Boy if these walls could talk I`d be like "HOLY SH!T TALKING WALLS"
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn`t walk to the donut shop.
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
I just heard someone say "I can`t wait for 13/13/13" .....let`s take a moment and pray for this dumbass
There are two key elements to success. 1) Never tell anyone everything you know.
I keep a second pair of shoes at work, I don`t want people to recognize me when I`m pooping.
Sometimes I listen to strangers conversations and mentally give my opinion
I just called my boss and told him I have explosive diarrhea. It’s my day off, but I like to keep him informed.
A sure cure for sea-sickness is to sit under a tree.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?