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life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
I have thought a lot about it and I am thrilled to announce that I have decided to never die.
If you say married people aren’t having sex, you have obviously never sat in a hotel bar & watched them pick up strangers.
Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
We should do this “3-day weekend” thing more often.
Thank you Super Bowl for reminding all Americans how bad we really are at understanding Roman numerals
Think before you yell at your kids. They are the ones who might have to bring you toilet paper in 20 minutes.
I just became a professional Counterfeiter, I even have the certificates to prove it.
I used to date this girl that worked at Hasbro, but I finally got sick of all her games.
Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V
Yes, that`s correct. And the horse you rode in on.
Im switching some friends from my Facebook account to my Fakebook account.
It`s not stalking if you love them!
People always ask me, where do I come up with my status`, do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs.