Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If my calculations are correct then someone else did them for me.
If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it`s technically a cat
To the squirrel carrying the mushroom up a tree to his nest: you may want to eat that with your feet firmly on the ground, buddy.
Sometimes I wonder how people who don`t have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.
About 110,000 people contract chlamydia each month, more than signed up for Obamacare. Obamacare is less popular than chlamydia.
Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throw away ANYTHING, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican drug lord..
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
My bank is the worst. They`re charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can`t even afford to be broke.
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
I got 99 problems but a least my name aint North West.
Did you know? If you were to watch all of the Saw films, it would take you 666 minutes?
Don’t you hate it when spiders bite you and you get like zero superpowers?
I was the only one that cared when Jimmy cracked corn.
You haven’t truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”