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A lot of people don`t realise that Shania Twain`s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
If your job title is head receiver, you know you`re doing something right.
Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
Forget the hero part, I just like the fact that Batman punches clowns.
Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?
Learn cursive, they said. You`ll need it your whole life, they said.
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn`t walk to the donut shop.
Never let a medical procedure scare you. That`s what the bill is for.
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
One of my female friend is reading a book called "Learn to drive in a week" for the last 3 years.
Trying to achieve the perfect erection. How hard could it be?
My roommate is going on a date tonight.. He said he`s convinced she IS coming home with him.. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters.. Now we wait..
I took part in the sun tan world championships this weekend. I got bronze.
This healthy diet thing is dangerous. I just cut myself peeling an apple. This would have never happened to me with a twinkie.
With my luck, I’ll die and get reincarnated as myself.