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To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that
Maybe my goal was to be a 35 year old loser on the Internet ... You don`t know.
State of mind is in no mind to state its state of mind.
Liquor makes me happy, You ..... not so much.
Today is "National Take Your Flask To Work Day." ... I just made it up. Tell the others.
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
I`m at the facebook saloon, drinking all night long
The fact that Google autocompletes all of my questions just reaffirms how unoriginal all my problems are.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
I wish bedtime was all the time.
Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you`re standing outside watching your house burn.
B!tch Please, your only fan is the one on your ceiling.
A woman’s anger is like a check engine light; there’s no pleasant way to determine what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job.