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If playing Grand Theft Auto makes you violent, why hasn`t 25 years of me playing Madden made me a professional football player?
Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties. I will never comprehend this.
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings...
I hate it when teachers say, “You think it’s funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be laughing
Karma takes too long ..... I`d rather beat the sh%t out of you.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”
Our brain took two billion years to evolve. Two billion trips around the Sun. All so humans can use it to look at kittens on the Internet.
“Screw it” – My final thought before making most decisions.
I dont even bother filling out the "From" field on gift tags during xmas. One look at the wrap job, and its VERY obvious.
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.
Sex in the City is the prequel to The Golden Girls, right?
Congratulation! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air! Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.