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Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
Sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck.
I can’t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.
My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and masturbation. I’m always trying to pull a fast one
It`s almost Valentines Day and I still don`t know what to get myself yet.
If one of Santa`s helpers takes a picture of himself with his smartphone, is that an "elfie"?
I don`t speak Spanish, but I`m pretty sure "Dora" means "annoying"
"Dora" only rhymes with "Explorer" if you`re from Long Island, New York
I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.
No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you. I just want the oil change
Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets
Eating Popcorn: 90% during the trailers. 10% during the movie.
I hope common sense is the next cool trend.
If anybody in North America needs a napkin, hit me up. I should have enough in my car’s glovebox for each of you.
"That girl is totally checking you out" said vodka. -Bfanch