Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m kind of clueless about pop culture. I thought "Hogwarts" was an STD
Roses are red, violets are blue. If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
I believe in equality. If we have five days of work, then we should have five day weekends as well.
Pringles cans should have a twist mechanism like stick deodorant.
I don`t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice.
I was going to get a lot of stuff done tonight, but I didn`t. Because, you know...beer.
You can´t trust dogs to watch your food.
It turns out that playing strip solitaire isn`t nearly as much fun as playing strip poker. Especially at work...
There`s something I need to get off my chest: Darned Cheetos crumbs.
The only reason I keep people`s phone numbers in my phone is to avoid their calls..
If you feel lonely... dim all lights & put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore
Give a man a fish & he`ll be all "WTF are you giving me a fish for? That`s weird" Teach a man to fish & he`ll be all "Again with the fish?"
If you want to go running with me, you`d better be prepared to walk a lot.