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I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
The older I get the more I understand Squidward`s anger.
"Who`s this clown?" - every guy about every other guy who is in a photo with a girl we like
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.
Patience is what I have when there are too many witnesses.
I just assume that when a restaurant automatically adds 15% to the bill for a tip that the service is going to suck.
I hate it when I fill my blowup doll with helium and then she plays hard to get...
That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a lightsaber just to open it.
Is it weird that I`m 43 years old and have a secret handshake with 3 adults.....and my dog?
The hardest thing about my juice cleanse is trying to juice Snickers
Ive been invited to farmville! Now what to wear...
If I was antisocial I wouldn`t have just ordered a pizza over the phone.
I went by the Gym today. Its the third time this week............. One of these day`s I might actually go in.