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I told you I was trouble. You should have listened to me instead of staring at my boobs.
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
Well I was gonna donate blood today until the lady got all personal and started asking "who´s blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
I`m a bad multitasker and even a questionable monotasker
I`m late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-22. I`m thankful for boobs
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
You need a high five, in the face, with a chair.
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
If you are going to write in the dust on my car, please dont date it
My daughter asked me why I carry a gun inside the house. I told her I was scared of the CIA. She laughed. I laughed. Amazon Echo laughed.
“Star Wars” fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new “Star Wars” movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han
Sometimes in life, all you really need is a lot of money.
Releasing a long silent fart as I walk through first class on the way to my economy seat is definitely my favorite part of boarding an aircraft.