Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’ve probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge.
Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system
Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.
The right man breaks your headboard, not your heart.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
With so many things coming back in style, I can`t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
I`m not worried about the zombie apocalypse that is coming. I`m worried about the fcuktard apocalypse that is here right now.
Grabbed Pizza Roll. Thought "my god that is so hot it`s burning my fingers" and immediately popped it in my mouth ... I`m a goddamn genius.
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Independence Day.
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.
Netflix would be by far the best dating site. "Here are 9 other singles in your area who have also watched Pokemon for 12 straight hrs"
Subway only exists because we`re all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here`s $8."
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.