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Netflix is soo much better than going out and pretending to like people.
I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren`t there hot chocolate trucks in the winter?
I swear my bed just whispered "Please Don`t go."
Fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner`s high..... I just have to bend over and tie my shoes.
Look, all I`m saying is that the dinosaurs didn`t drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.......
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I don`t get it. Moving on.
If you´re cooler than me, doesnt that make me hotter than you?
Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister
Only awesome people are allowed to ‘LIKE’ this status!
It´s never to late to be happy
I was voted `Most Paranoid` by my classmates at school. Although they never admitted it.
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?