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I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don`t have great childing skills either.
PRO TIP: You can use crunchy food to block out conversations of people you hate.
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?
If it doesn`t include antidepressants, they shouldn`t call it a Happy Meal.
Timeouts just give children a quiet place to plot your murder.
Not to brag, but Netflix recommends certain movies just for me.
I read Facebook for the pictures.
How come we can put a man on the moon but we can`t made a smoke alarm that can differentiate between a house fire and cooking sausages?
For some reason, I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why!
status uploading
I used to be so broke when homeless people saw me coming by they would hide their change cups.
It’s not pretty being easy.
The older I get, the more I understand someone`s desire to just say-"F*ck it. I`m going to be drunk all the time & live under this bridge."