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Pornography only gets called by its full name when it`s in trouble too.
Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I`ve been one for 30 some years now.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin? (asking for a friend)
I`m here to pick you up when you fall. Whether I tripped you is another thing...
Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
Scientists uncovered the part of the male brain responsible for pissing off women. It’s next to the part that knows how much roses cost.
If I was Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, "That`s one small step for man," would have been, "Screw you every girl who ever shot me down!"
Anyone that tells you money is the root of all evil is f*cking broke.
You know what the cheapest meat is? Deer balls ... They`re under a buck
the kids next door have challenged me to a water balloon fight. just updating my status while waiting on the water to boil.
My wife`s credit cards were stolen last week. I haven`t reported it yet though...because so far, they are spending less than she was.
Does this 50 pound bag of cat food make me look single?
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
I will be forever in your debt if you would just loan me 1 million dollars.
Our swear jar is always empty because of all the god damn foul mouthed thieves that live in this f*cking house.