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Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today...or flash them your boobs. Strangers love boobs!
School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
Fellas; There’s no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
WARNING!! I have character defects and I`m not afraid to use them.
Where did Noah keep his bees? ... In the ark hives ... Yes, I`m showing myself out, thanks
Grabbing a drink after work is perfectly fine.However, you look like an alcoholic when your getting that drink at 6am.
You know what else looks like a ring and has lots of power over people? Donuts.
After 3 "it`s complicated" statuses, Facebook should just default to "Unstable"
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days..
Some mornings it`s best to just fill the sink with coffee, dunk your head in it, and suck.
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
I got kicked out of a Yoga class today. Apparently, your not supposed to do the `Downward Dog` on top of another person.
10 times out of 9, you’ll find me exaggerating about something