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They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that`s why I surround myself with lazy people
Still waiting for a Discovery Channel "How It`s Made" episode on babies.
I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
There`s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
Okay, calm down. Its a spider. Just one tiny litt- HOLY MOLY IT MOVED!
Light travels faster than sound.. That is why some people appear bright until they speak.
So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
Me: Dad, going to the 50cents concert. Dad: Here`s a dollar, take your sister with you.
Very few things upset my wife. So, it makes me feel rather special to be one of them.
If you`re wondering why you`re single, date someone. You`ll remember
Today is opposite day. Wait...if today is opposite day and I say that it is opposite day that means today isn`t opposite day. If it isn`t opposite day then how cAn I say today is opposite dAy? I`m so confused -.-
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
If I had a penny for everytime I heard you bitch at me I`d have enough money to invest in a hitman