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Does anyone know where the off switch on a child is? I can’t seem to find it.
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.
Person: You`re blocking the view. Me: B!tch, I am the view!
By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn`t believe me.
So you constantly feel sorry for yourself and feel the need to tell everyone all about it. I can’t imagine why he left you.
Progress is made by lazy people looking for an easier way to do things
I don`t get it. If violets are blue, why do we call them violets?
I met a lady named Polly once. She didn`t care for crackers, nor my sense of humor.
Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!
I`m going to start a band called "Free Beer" because when people see a sign that says "Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM" everyone is going to be there.
homework wont kill me, but why take the risk!
Facebook - the place where you can whine and get likes for it...
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.
I just slid off the couch and lay on the floor for a while and eventually sat up without using my hands, is that a yoga class?