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What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles?
Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical....really....it`s like the trash took itself out.
I was in the gym earlier and decided to jump on the treadmill. People were giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
You should get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep... 9 if you`re an ugly bitch...
The first snow of spring is always the most beautiful
I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
Calories: Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
Apparently you can not demand to be strip searched.
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
We`re all just nudists in disguise...
I am hungry 25 hours a day
Life is hard ... It`s harder if you`re stupid.
What doesn`t kill you, will hopefully try again
I always write `wake up` on my to-do-list so I can at least accomplish one thing a day