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For once I’d like to get kicked into a bar
There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren’t invited to.
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn`t even eat them.
Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head.
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
Of course you don’t think you’re ignorant! That’s the definition of ignorance!
It takes balls to be a man.
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
After 3 "it`s complicated" statuses, Facebook should just default to "Unstable"
"Hey homie!" - How I greet my house whenever I arrive.
If my body is EVER found dead on a designated jogging trail.. Just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.. :|
I hate it when I`m trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like CRAP ... until you have something someone else needs
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!