Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You say `pervert with a telescope` ... I say `biological astronomer`.
Flat screens are nice and all, but they`ll never compare to the television/record player/ liquor cabinet combo extravaganza we had as kids.
This bank pen tastes like it`s been in a lot of other people`s mouths
Probably the most exciting feature on the new Iphone is the way it upgrades simple phone theft into full on finger removal.
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m a person.
I found my wife through online dating. So, she`s definitely got some explaining to do!
How to cure a headache: 1. Drink a glass of water. 2. Take 10 deep breathes. 3. Give headache your credit card & tell her to go to the mall.
Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our worst table.
Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram have taught us that for every giant technological leap ahead, we will find a way to use it for dumb sh!t.
What idiot called it a contraction and not a birthquake?
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
What did I get for Christmas? Fat...
Orgasms are alot like pizza. As long as I have pizza I don`t really care if you don`t have any pizza.
It`s only a matter of time until "Security cameras of Wal-Mart" become a hit reality show.
Back in my day we had 9 planets.