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I have a feeling my dying words will be "Honey, I was just joking."
I`m trying to cut back on posting pics to Instagram, so I`m not going to eat anymore.
If you want to preview of the new iPhone 8 and try it out for free before buying it just look at your iPhone 7 and pretend it cost several hundred dollars more.
I always push when I should pull. I have doorlexia.
There`s a word for people like you ... "leave"
I think it`s safe to take the fax numbers off our business cards, now, everybody.
Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
Moving all my retirement funds into a Colorado snack machine franchise.
why waste your brain cells to think of a comment when you can just like someone else`s?
Why is it never opportunity that`s knocking? Instead, it`s usually cops with a warrant...
Car commercials make driving around in empty parking structures look fun and normal and not suspicious or kidnappy.
You use Google every day but I bet you can’t remember the order of the colors.
I was in my kitchen cleaning when suddenly I realized OMG! ... I`m late for Facebook!!
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music”... but when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot"
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.