Daily Silly Status

Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.

Of course women dont fart. They never shut up long enough to build up pressure

I bet aliens would visit us more if Will Smith didn`t punch them in the head as soon as they got here.

If u think someone (me) is cute u should tell them (me)

Is it wrong to use cheat codes for Wii Fit.

Apparently members of the Westboro Baptist Church were outside a theater when the marquee gave way and came crashing down injuring several of them amidst their protest. Witnesses overhead many of the members muttering to themselves, "It must be a sign."

Yet another advantage of being single. All I bring to Thanksgiving is empty Tupperware...

My New Year’s resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro wall ... I plan on sticking to it.

Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive

I have problems cleaning my house because I get distracted by all the fun things I find.

I`m confused by this "It`s 5 o`clock somewhere" statement. Bars open at 11. Idiots.

My son wants to be a shrink when he grows up... Clearly I`ve failed to teach him our family`s place in the psychiatric process...

Society: Be yourself. Society: No not like that

So far I’ve spent most of 2014 flipping off the weather channel.

Are walruses just vampire manatees?