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Stovetop Directions: 1.) Use microwave.
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
No matter how busy a guy is, he can always take out a moment from his busy life to just stop and stare at a beautiful girl.
If you don`t have anything nice to say I would probably enjoy spending time with you
She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
Best pickup line : wanna get pizza?
Some things are better left unsaid, but I`m probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway.
"Wife dragged me to this theater. Somebody shoot me." -Abraham Lincoln`s last Tweet.
Here walk a mile in my shoes. They`re giving me huge blisters.
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
My dad says that if I don`t stop typing so loudly, he`s gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I`m pretty sure she`ll figure out that I`m just after my money
The number of things that are *NOT* rocket science is staggering.
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.