Daily Silly Status

finally got my certification in the mail, I`m officially insane.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I lowered my standards, just for you.

You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box

Sometimes it’s the little victories, like depositing a dollar to avoid overdraw fees that make me feel like a responsible adult.

White girls be like: I`ll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please.

Nothing says “I don’t give a sh!t” like a Hawaiian shirt.

Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?

I think the only way I`ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I`m in prison.

I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]

I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.

According to WebMD I have déjà vu... but not only that, I also have déjà vu according to WebMD.

This year’s box-office revenue is down 20 percent from last summer. I’m not sure why that is, but I`ll bet you there’s a documentary on Netflix about it.

I only use the outdoors to get to another indoors.

My last boyfriend used to smile and say "I love you" to me every morning as he left for work. At least I think that`s what he was saying. It can be tricky to lip read through binoculars.

I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"