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i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
Why can`t I get service in my own home, but the god damn Taliban can upload videos from a cave in Afghanistan!?
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver
Job interview: Please tell us why you’d love to work for us? ME: I need money :)
Why do they call a grapefruit a grapefruit? I mean there is already a fruit called a grape!!
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn`t walk to the donut shop.
I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti! I just want a future archaeologist to have a great day!
Good morning my friends ... Wait a minute ... What the f*ck am I doing up this early.
I enjoy romantic scrolls up and down your timeline.
There`s nothing sadder then the look on my dogs face after he hears something hit the floor and discovers it`s only lettuce :(
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
Highways need 4 lanes per side - A NASCAR wannabe lane, a normal driver lane, an old people who drive 40 in a 70 lane & a "where in the hell am I?" lane.
It`s not a real hangover until you bring a pillow into the bathroom.